For All That You Are...

Allowing Our Loved Ones To Be Human
Putting People on a Pedestal

When we fall in love with someone or make a new friend, we sometimes see that person in a glowing light. Their good qualities dominate the foreground of our perception and their negative qualities. They just don’t seem to have any. This temporary state of grace is commonly known as putting someone on a pedestal. Often times we put spiritual leaders and our gurus on pedestals. We have all done this to someone at one time or another, and as long as we remember that no one is actually “perfect,” the pedestal phase of a relationship can be enjoyed for what it is—a phase. It’s when we actually believe our own projection that troubles arise.

Everyone has problems, flaws, and blind spots, just as we do. When we entertain the illusion that someone is perfect, we don’t allow them room to be human, so when they make an error in judgment or act in contradiction to our idea of perfection, we become disillusioned. We may get angry or distance ourselves in response. In the end, they are not to blame for the fact that we idealized them. Granted, they may have enjoyed seeing themselves as perfect through our eyes, but we are the ones who chose to believe an illusion. If you go through this process enough times, you learn that no one is perfect. We are all a combination of divine and human qualities and we all struggle. When we treat the people we love with this awareness, we actually allow for a much greater intimacy than when we held them aloft on an airy throne. The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is.

We cannot truly connect with a person when we idealize them. In life, there are no pedestals—we are all walking on the same ground together. When we realize this, we can own our own divinity and our humanity. This is the key to balance and wholeness within ourselves and our relationships.

Life's Simpler Joys

There is great potential for happiness hidden in our day-to-day existence, and fully realizing this veiled joy is often little more than a matter of savoring each of our experiences to the fullest extent possible. When we regard the happenings that define our days as ordinary or insignificant, we inadvertently rob them of any meaning they might have conveyed. Yet the ordinary becomes extraordinary each time we admit to ourselves that life’s smallest pleasures and most commonplace events can touch us deeply. As we learn to appreciate and enjoy the world around us, we begin to see that we need not go in search of fun because there is so much of it to be had in the experiences that make up our lives in the present.

Within...

Though many people associate feelings of inner harmony with the convergence of certain specific outer-world conditions, we can, in fact, enjoy a sense of bliss no matter the nature of the circumstances unfolding around us. Finding harmony in our own lives is a matter of first accepting that there will always be stressors present in our environment and then recognizing that we are capable of drawing forth serenity from within ourselves at will. This means that we can feel idyllic and happy anywhere, at any time in our lives, without having to hope that conditions will be right. Sustaining this lasting harmony is a matter of both knowing that our lives are developing as they should and understanding that we should be proud of the progress we have made.

Free From Negativity...

Keeping our conversations free from negativity helps us engage in encouraging and affirming interactions. Many of the topics we discuss with others can focus on information that is damaging to ourselves and those we interact with. It can be so easy to talk behind others’ backs or form friendships based on mutual criticisms. But when we set the intention to speak about positive subjects, our focus turns toward achieving greater meaning through our interactions. Conversations become more pleasing to ourselves and others, and our friendships strengthen as a result. We begin to explore topics that serve the purpose of growing our relationship and nurturing our spirit.