YUMMM

Michael's Holiday Fruitcake Recipe

1 Cup Water,
1 Cup Sugar
4 Large Eggs
3 Cups Dried Fruit (your choice)
1 tsp. Baking Soda
1 tsp. Salt
1 Cup Brown Sugar
Lemon Juice
Nuts (your choice)
1 FULL bottle of your favorite Whiskey


*Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
*Take out a large bowl.
*Check the whiskey again to be certain
that it is of the HIGHEST QUALITY
*Pour 1 level cup and drink.
*Repeat last step.

*Turn on the Electric Mixer; beat 1 cup
of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
*Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
*Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
*Cry another cup.
*Turn off the Mixer

*Break two geggs and add to the bowl.
*Chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
*Mix on the burner.
*If the fruit gets stuck in the beaties,
pry it loose with a screwdriver.
*Sample the whiky to check for toxisisticity.

*Next, Sift 2 cups of Salt.
Or something, who cares?
*Check the wishky.
*Now sift the Lemon Juice and strain the nuts.
*Add 1 TBSP of sugar or something...
Whatever you can find.

*Grease the oven.
*Turn on the cake tin to 350 degrees.
*Don't forget to beat off the turner.
*Throw the bowl out of the window.
*Check the wikky again.
*Go to bed!